Ahh, Cupid

…that cheeky little bastard!

There are moments when I forget myself and my significance in the world. I feel as though I’m fighting a numbers game… and losing badly. There are about 3 other billion (think about that number for a second: billion) men out there with whom to contend. What have I got that they don’t have? And more importantly, how is that One True Love (OTL, hereafter) going to find me among the throngs?

In advertising circles, this problem is known as “rising above the clutter.” Simply, it’s devising a method to become discovered by consumers when every other product on the market looks and functions the same as yours.

But to be fair to myself, what’s the difference between all the women in the world? Sure, there are all types physically. But those are superficial differences. How do two people come to the realization that they are mutually the perfect match for each other, amid all the myriad possible combinations?

That same advertising culture attempts to answer that question this time of the year. Their solution? What we’re really missing is the sweeping-off-the-feet kind of romance. The OTL.

That thinking seems to work at odds with the traditional wisdom of lasting love, which maintains OTL is both volitional and sacrificial (choice and hard work). That recipe is a firm one, and yet the consumer in me finds it somewhat anticlimactic. Where’s the passion and spontaneity within such deliberate formality? I don’t want to choose to be in love. I want it to just happen!

An aside:

I was reminded of how uniqueness can thrive even inside a multitude of similarity. I love my cat. When I look at his face, I just love him, plain and simple. There are millions of cats in the world; why would I love this one? For starters, I choose to. But also, I’ve come to appreciate his little oddities and mannerisms that are completely his own. I can’t even define where this emotion comes from inside me, epistemologically. It’s there nonetheless.

8 comments

  1. Ahh…I got a good one, didn’t I?

  2. good questions.. when you find out the answers, please let me know as well.

  3. Good thoughts, everyone! Yep, his name is Ebenezer, Julie. You know, I didn’t even consider the “ownership” angle. I know that’s not the right word, but you know what I mean. ;-)

    SciFChick, if I ever do, you’ll be the first to know. :-)

  4. I believe its a combination of spontaneous romance and hard work that make it possible to have ‘one true love’ and that the giving of yourself wholely to another, while truly sacrificial at times, is one of the key ingredients to finding those romantic moments even years into a relationship.

  5. I didn’t want to say this cuz I don’t want to seem like a goody goody preachey girl, but it’s too important to leave out. Here goes… God’s love for us is not based on our behavior, our performance, personality, etc. His love is unconditional. It is based soley on the fact that we are His. This is a perfect example of love, that when applied to romantic relationships, will provide couples with “staying power”. I still think it’s romantic, too.

  6. Oh Julie, you’re such a goody-goody preacher girl! ;)

  7. You love your cat because he’s yours. Of all the cats in the world Ebenezer (is that his name?) belongs to you. That makes him special, along with his own little personality. Sometimes I love James, just because he’s mine. I am sure he would agree. I am not always real loveable but he loves me because he chose me. That may sound volitional and sacrificial but I also think it’s romantic. To simply be loved because I’m his.

  8. Everyone is unlovable sometimes. When we first got together it was hard to tell where infatuation ends and love begins.

    After a few years of marriage the infatuation fades and the real battle of learning to share EVERY area of your life with someone else begins.

    That is why total commitment is so important. There are plenty of days when we are both unlovable. It is at that time you have to choose to love.

    The times you choose to love you do so because you know that even during a hard time that this person ,who is being difficult, is still your best friend.

    As a footnote don’t forget that the closer your relationship with God is the better your relationship with your spouse will be.

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