got your message here once again. I got all Information i needed about the Williams & Sonoma Marisol Pattern Dishes, Whole Set, I’m a Merchant Navy (Chief Cook) I just got a contract and i really need to stay focused and get things.. I will handle the Shipping to the naval base here..
The mode of my payment will be made via (Cashier Check) in which i will handle the Shipping, we have a Shipping company that works for the navy and their price are pretty low. Check will be mailed via (FedEx) providing with tracking number for proper inspection…

As soon as Check gets to you, you will take the Check to your Bank or a Registered cashing Point to cash, In which the remaining of the Fund will be disburse to the people who will come for the pick-up via Westernunion…They people will be right there after they must have gotten their fund. Once you are satisfied with my mode of payment you can proceed to delete the advert of the Williams & Sonoma Marisol Pattern Dishes, Whole Set..
The amount on the check will cover the cost of the Item and the cost of the shipping…You will assist me to disburse the remaining fund on my check will be transfered to the people who will come for the pick-up, a time will be scheduled for the pick-up as soon as you have cash at hand
from your Bank….

Kindly get back to me with the following Info. in other to proceed with the payment. (1) Full Name (2) Address and (3) Phone Number.
As soon as i get this information, i shall proceed in mailing the check to you.
Best Regards,
Lt. Darlene Christmas.

Did you understand any of that?!! When I asked for clarification - that perhaps there was a languange barrier, this is the response I got:

Well, here is the break down. A check will be sent to you to cover the cost of the Williams & Sonoma Marisol Pattern Dishes, Whole Set, and also for the shipping. As soon as you cash the check and have cash at hand. You’ll deduct your $400 , you’ll assist me in wiring the Shipper’s fund to them via westernunion… Does that make any sense?

Hmmm… suddenly the English improves. Why does a Merchant Navy Lt. need fancy dishes? Perhaps I’ll string her along, if I could figure out where to turn her in.

Thanks, I’ll send a draft from my bank to cover the cost as I’m
satisfied with what I’ve seen so far, anyways i’ll not be available
for the pick-up due to my job transfer and shortness of time, but my
intention is to hire a mover to pick it up. I will need the details of
whom & where to mail the draft. It will be delivered by the United
Parcel Service within 2-3 days. Please note ‘ups’ does not deliver to
P.O.Box addresses. 1.Name to be on the check 2.Home address 3.Cell
phone 4 Final price. Kindly delete the posting as I’m totally
committed to buying the item from you to save my costs.

sill.

Hellen had the oddest one:
“My name is hellen kelly my orientation is straight,well behaved and well understanding.I saw your advert on the internet that why i decided to contact you in regards to your place,Am a South African Citizen and presently in South Africa.
I’m a student am coming to have my Bsc and i will be needing athe sofa , i can make the payments as soon as possible to show how interested i am.
I will so much glad if you email me and also provide me with the details of the rent (monthly + deposit if required),
Thanks very much, hope to hear from you soon..”

Why would I care if she was straight??

Sure can, Jan. I sent you an email…