So I get not one, but two priceless phone calls from solicitors yesterday.
Solicitor #1
The first was from a consumer panel group, wanting my opinion on radio stations. The lady first had to ask a few questions to make sure I was qualified to be a member of this prestigious consumer panel.
- “What station to you listen to the most, sir?”
- “And how about your second most?”
- “Last?”
Me: “Um, NPR, 90.1.” , I replied.
Me: “89.7 Power FM.”
Me: “Hmmm, maybe classical?”
Silence for a moment. “Hello?” Then the lady returned and said that I had been declined from participation. I got the distinct feeling that had I answered any ClearChannel station in that list, I probably would have been picked in a heartbeat. But then, that’s probably not a panel I’d want to be a part of.
Solicitor #2
The second call came from a dating service, The Right One. Poor Brent was trying his best to “hook” me on the phone. He asked all the standard questions that his queue cards required of him.
- “Hello Mr. Lund! I’m {insert name here}. How are you today?!”
- “The reason I’m calling you today is to see how your dating life is going!”
- {ask client for unreasonable amount of personal information, including mother’s first roommate’s maiden name, current level of income, and all pets’ names}
- “Well Mr. Lund, it sounds to me like you are a perfect fit for our program!”
- “Are you ready to meet quality women?!”
- “We feel it best to meet our clients in person before continuing!”
At this point, it was all of me to bite my tongue’s dire need to lash out in cantankerous cynicism. When I graciously declined Brent’s fabulous offer, he was so perplexed that I felt I owed him a clear explanation.
“You see, Brent,” I started. “The last time I was suckered into meeting with a ‘personal dating service’, I felt like I was buying a used car. A really old piece-of-crap station wagon. And I don’t like high pressure salesmanship, Brent. So until you can guarantee me that you won’t be wasting my time with similar tactics, I won’t be visiting you any time soon.”
Poor Brent couldn’t provide such an assurance, but he did leave me his number, just in case I changed my mind. So I’m giving it to you, Mr. Internet.
972-866-0121
Are you ready to meet quality singles?
Here is an anti-solicitation resource: a national do-not-call registry
UPDATE!
Now Jason Skinner wants me to sign up with The Right One. He’s extremely eager to win that commission, as this is the third time he’s called in a few months.
To reward the ingenuity of all you google-ites, I’m offering Jason Skinner’s office phone number:
972-404-0502
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