Who left the seat up?

I had an extremely funny conversation with my sister recently. I was compelled to share.

the shrine, latrine, cammodeThe toilet seat argument:

Posit (by Jim): In the interest of equal opportunity, the toilet seat should be left up 50% of the time between couples. Why should the toilet seat be left down by default? Assuming regularity of bowel movements, both the man and woman equally use the john. Therefore, they should share the load of maneuvering the seat.

Rebuttal (by Melissa): Women go with the seat down 100% of the time. Men, usually around 25%. Therefore, they should carry the burden of repositioning.

Just for the record, I personally have no public opinion on this matter, since it might be regarded as un-masculine. Suffice it to say that the future Mrs. Rob will not find herself arguing with Mr. Rob over this topic. Though I’m sure there will be many other quirks in Mr. Rob’s mannerisms to make up for the loss.

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  1. Ain’t my BIL the coolest? Great post, Jimbo. Tell that firecracker to read her Bible and submit (to quote Tom or James or one of the doghoused males in this circle).

    Melissa, you know you love me. I’m the Golden Boy!


  2. Lol, Patty, you’re too funny. Isn’t that why they invented those butt gasket things to buffer you from the seat? Cut down on the “quad burn”?

  3. I guess I have James trained well, the seat is always down. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    My three year old walked in on one of her boy friends while he was peeing and the next day walked in on her dad. She became fascinated with the idea of standing and peeing. She tried it and was unsuccessful, so she decide to straddle the toilet backwards for a couple of days! ๐Ÿ˜†

  4. Growing up in a household where men were outnumbered 2 to 1, it was a matter of mere survival that I learn to leave the commode in the proper position. However, now that my own household is evenly balanced between the genders, I feel a freedom to bring into question even the most sacred of family mores. While I realize that this the most sacred and most dangerous of customs I will ever in my adult life bring into question, and that I risk my very life uttering such things in the presence of a woman, let me assure you all of one thing. Once I have the plethora of little Mels that Iรขโ‚ฌโ„ขm destined to have, I will retreat back to safer more neutral ground in such matters. But until then, and while it remains so deliciously fun to rile up my beautiful little firecracker of a wife, I will most likely continue to posit such ridiculous views. If you know the fiery Melissa Dietz (formerly Lund), Iรƒโ€šรขโ‚ฌโ„ขm sure you understand at least a little bit.

    And as a post script, just in case you thought I was a complete pig and actually practiced my insane theories, our seat remains down even though it’s much farther for me to reach then for Melissa. ๐Ÿ˜†

  5. having grown up with a twin brother, i had regular first hand exposure that life was not fair at a very young age. everytime we went shopping and mom had to haul both of us into the stall with her, i got to hover while my brother got to stand.

    needless to say, for a brief period of time i tried to adapt my brother’s method, which seemed so much better. mostly, i just ended up straddling the commode and making a mess.

    to reference freud, penis envy indeed. what a cruel lesson for a little girl to learn. it became very clear that i would have a lifetime of hovering ahead of me.

    but at least i get a good quad work-out in when i have to use public restrooms. sometimes when i am i in a public restroom and know that there are others sharing in my pain, i actually say out loud: “oh, yeah….feel the burn”- and women i’ve never met before giggle under the stalls. its an experience that men will never understand…

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