A friend of mine recently suggested I try eHarmony. I informed her that I believe eHarmony is a front for the Antichrist.
For I did try eHarmony a couple years ago. Filled out the 20 page personality test, which was pretty accurate. Below is the rejection letter I received from Dr. Neil Clark Warren, aka, Beelzebub (the bold emphases are mine).
The message you received is used to notify people that they fall outside the range of those we can accurately match with the eHarmony matching service. Let me explain what that means. eHarmony matches people by analyzing their answers to the Relationship Questionnaire in order to accurately match compatible types of people.
The difficulty with this technology is that about 20% do not fit neatly into any of these categories. When that happens we are faced with a dilemma. We can either match them anyway and hope for the best, or not match them. We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish and enjoy happy, lasting relationships that we have chosen to not provide service instead of risking an uncertain match.
Please do not take our inability to match you as a reflection of your desirability.
They’re kidding, right? How could one not take this personally? I mean, good grief, I’m not a sociopath. Am I?
Well, apparently I’m not the only one.